Tag Archive | motherhood

Expecting . . .

I’ve been learning and writing a lot about faith.  It’s really on my heart, because I have a lot of things right now for which I am expectantly waiting on the Lord.  And I’m trying to wait with faith . . . expect with faith . . . hope with faith.

I am both terrified and excited beyond belief, because later this year my husband and I have decided to do this . . .

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. . . all over again.

This will be my first time being pregnant where it was not an . . . *ahem* . . . “unintended consequence.”  And I am so excited to have this experience of planning, and waiting, and hoping, and praying (Yes, yes . . . I just started singing the Dusty Springfield song in my head, too.) beforehand.  I have had the OMG, SURPRISE! experience.  Now I’m excited to have the other experience as well.

We are not telling any family or friends about our plans until I am pregnant and we actually know the gender of the baby.  So . . . since I am dying inside, to tell someone, I want to share it with all of you!

And boy, oh boy, do we have a lot to get in order beforehand, everything from finances (which are a little haywire), to help with our toddler (which we have n.o.n.e), to just about everything else . . . I mean, we have a crib.  And that’s about it.  But no sweat, right?  I mean, I am a everything-will-work-out / plan-and-prepare type of person.  And I know these things will be just fine.

But THIS is what keeps me up at night.  I am about to undertake the herculean feat of attempting to beat H.G.  For those of you unfamiliar with H.G. I will tell you what it is, by first telling you what it is not.  It is NOT morning sickness.  (Which many an ignorant innocent lady likes to make-believe it is so that they can feel like they sympathize with those who have it.)

H.G. is debilitating, sometimes life-threatening, severe, SEVERE, SEVERE, unrelenting vomiting and nausea during pregnancy.  Those with H.G. are usually hospitalized for some, if not a large portion of their pregnancy, usually have difficulty working, or even caring for themselves, usually require IV fluids on a regular basis to try and prevent miscarriage, are typically given powerful anti-nausea medication developed for cancer patients to “take the edge off,” often become anemic and malnourished due to a total inability to keep food down.  The cause of it is unknown, there is no “cure,” and no reliable “prevention.”  And if you have H.G. the chances are in the 90th percentile that you will have it every time you get pregnant.

And.I.am.going.to.beat.it.

There is some evidence that liver cleanses and vitamin therapies pre-pregnancy can hold it off.  And I am going to try it all – wage an all out offensive attack on this.  But my hope in this must be (as should be everything else) in the Lord.  My clock is ticking with seven months left before we TTC.  And I can use all the prayer I can get.

If asked to describe my past pregnancies in one word, I would say: hell.  I felt absolutely certain that this is what it feels like to be dying.  Not in a drama queen, “OMG, I’m, like, dying!”  I mean, literally, the life force being sucked out of you, my body is slowly shutting down, dying.  And so I am, naturally, a little terrified of intentionally walking into this lions’ den.

But thank God . . . well, maybe that’s all I need to say.  Thank God!  THANK GOD that He is, and He is faithful to me.  May He have mercy on me this time around.  Amen.

God’s plans for us are awesomeer than car-carts!!

We have been blessed with a little extra spending money this week.  And since we haven’t gotten out much lately, my husband decided he wants to take our little one for a special outing tomorrow.  We want it to be exciting, and special and different – but we’re still not sure exactly where we want to take her.  We’ve even asked her where she would like to go, but anyone who has ever asked an open-ended question to a toddler (albeit a highly intelligent toddler) knows pretty much what you get.  And it made me smile to think how excited she is going to be. 

She knows we’re planning to go do something tomorrow.  But in the mind of a 2-and-a-half-year-old the idea of a great outing is probably the play-place at Chick-fil-A, or scoring a car-cart at the grocery store.  You know – it looks, kinda, like this . . .

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. . . stuck on a cart so that the cart is too small for your groceries.  It’s primary job is growing strains of bacteria previously unknown to man.  And it’s completely, ridiculously, difficult to maneuver.  I really need to add “car-cart” as a covered auto to my insurance policy.  I ran over an old man just last week . . . but I digress.

So what gave my heart a thrill was this . . . Her sweet mind cannot even conceive of the amazing choices available to her: the big city zoo, a fancy lunch in a restaurant (yes, even at 2-and-a-half, she loves that), driving to the mountains to play in the snow.  Whatever she could come up with to wish for, my husband and I could come up with so many more, better, exciting things to offer her.  And that is what God will do for us!

“But as it is written: ‘Eye hath not seen, nor ear heard, neither have entered into the heart of man the things which God hath prepared for them that love Him.'” 1 Corinthians 2:9

No matter how grand are the dreams we cherish in our hearts, God’s plans for us are so amazing, so new, so much better that we cannot even imagine them.  Imagine the best things for yourself and your family that you can possibly imagine . . . God can blow that all away!  Make it seem like nothing.  And that is His desire for his children.

My prayer is that nothing else I may ask for would stand in the way of God’s best plans for my family and me.  And trusting in that – I can look forward to the future with excitement and hope, even in times that may seem disappointing, or feel like doors have been closed.

I can’t wait to spend tomorrow with my sweet family.

A Brand New Day!

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“Isn’t it nice to think that tomorrow is a new day with no mistakes in it yet?” 

That is one of my favorite quotes from literature.  I loved Anne of Green Gables as a young girl, and sometimes I still re-read it because of the wonderful peaceful feeling it brings.  Here is a girl, who despite her own flaws and many obstacles, set out anew with fresh hope and perseverance.  She followed her dreams.  She didn’t listen to the naysayers.  She determined her own future.  And through many dark moments, she knew that each new day was an opportunity to shake off everything that came before and start over.

For many, myself included, that is what a new year brings.  A time to do things differently, shake off the old, put on the new.  I have a few “New Year’s Resolutions” myself this time.

But a year is a long time to wait for a fresh start.  And I sincerely doubt that I’m gonna make it very far through the year without deviating from my well-laid plans somehow.  So I like to give myself a fresh start every day.

Don’t wait for January 1st to change your life.  Whenever I think of this quote from Anne I think of the Bible verse that I feel pairs perfectly with it: “The steadfast love of the LORD never ceases; his mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning; great is your faithfulness.”  Lamentations 3:22-23

Let your heart be renewed each morning, and know that when the sun comes up nothing that happened before matters now – no failures, disappointments, doubts, challenges, fears, missed opportunities . . . Today is where we live, and God makes each one new for us.