Tag Archive | praise

Expecting . . .

I’ve been learning and writing a lot about faith.  It’s really on my heart, because I have a lot of things right now for which I am expectantly waiting on the Lord.  And I’m trying to wait with faith . . . expect with faith . . . hope with faith.

I am both terrified and excited beyond belief, because later this year my husband and I have decided to do this . . .

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. . . all over again.

This will be my first time being pregnant where it was not an . . . *ahem* . . . “unintended consequence.”  And I am so excited to have this experience of planning, and waiting, and hoping, and praying (Yes, yes . . . I just started singing the Dusty Springfield song in my head, too.) beforehand.  I have had the OMG, SURPRISE! experience.  Now I’m excited to have the other experience as well.

We are not telling any family or friends about our plans until I am pregnant and we actually know the gender of the baby.  So . . . since I am dying inside, to tell someone, I want to share it with all of you!

And boy, oh boy, do we have a lot to get in order beforehand, everything from finances (which are a little haywire), to help with our toddler (which we have n.o.n.e), to just about everything else . . . I mean, we have a crib.  And that’s about it.  But no sweat, right?  I mean, I am a everything-will-work-out / plan-and-prepare type of person.  And I know these things will be just fine.

But THIS is what keeps me up at night.  I am about to undertake the herculean feat of attempting to beat H.G.  For those of you unfamiliar with H.G. I will tell you what it is, by first telling you what it is not.  It is NOT morning sickness.  (Which many an ignorant innocent lady likes to make-believe it is so that they can feel like they sympathize with those who have it.)

H.G. is debilitating, sometimes life-threatening, severe, SEVERE, SEVERE, unrelenting vomiting and nausea during pregnancy.  Those with H.G. are usually hospitalized for some, if not a large portion of their pregnancy, usually have difficulty working, or even caring for themselves, usually require IV fluids on a regular basis to try and prevent miscarriage, are typically given powerful anti-nausea medication developed for cancer patients to “take the edge off,” often become anemic and malnourished due to a total inability to keep food down.  The cause of it is unknown, there is no “cure,” and no reliable “prevention.”  And if you have H.G. the chances are in the 90th percentile that you will have it every time you get pregnant.

And.I.am.going.to.beat.it.

There is some evidence that liver cleanses and vitamin therapies pre-pregnancy can hold it off.  And I am going to try it all – wage an all out offensive attack on this.  But my hope in this must be (as should be everything else) in the Lord.  My clock is ticking with seven months left before we TTC.  And I can use all the prayer I can get.

If asked to describe my past pregnancies in one word, I would say: hell.  I felt absolutely certain that this is what it feels like to be dying.  Not in a drama queen, “OMG, I’m, like, dying!”  I mean, literally, the life force being sucked out of you, my body is slowly shutting down, dying.  And so I am, naturally, a little terrified of intentionally walking into this lions’ den.

But thank God . . . well, maybe that’s all I need to say.  Thank God!  THANK GOD that He is, and He is faithful to me.  May He have mercy on me this time around.  Amen.

“Faith” is a Verb

Faith

I’ve been trying to learn a lot about faith lately.  And I have a lot of thoughts on it.

Faith is a noun. It means . . .

1.  complete trust or confidence in someone or something.
2.  strong belief in God or in the doctrines of a religion, based on spiritual apprehension rather than proof.

Pretty straightforward, right?

But what does it mean when Jesus tells us to have faith?  Well, to me it is a verb – an action within all of my other actions. When I think of faith I think of the scene from Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade, where Jones knows that he is supposed to step out into the chasm, but he can’t see how he can do that and not fall to his death.  Trustingly, yet still fearfully, he takes the “leap of faith” and steps out, only to be caught by the path of stone that was there, but he couldn’t see.

I’m glad to know I’m not the only one who thinks of this.  As I searched for an image on Google, I found this amazing clip of that movie, set to the song “Walk by Faith” and overlaid with incredible verses.  I highly recommend it – here!

There have been a few times in my life where I felt like I had to do that.  I’ve been so glad I did every time.  And I’m thankful God gave me the opportunity to do it.

I’m sure I’ll be blogging a lot more on this topic soon.  But for now I’ll just watch the video a few more times, and revel in the fact that God is always there to support us in our walks of faith.

Photo credit here.

The story I don’t tell people, ‘cuz I’m honestly not crazy

Disclaimer:  I have, actually, told this story to very few people, mostly because I feel like they either won’t believe it, or they’ll think I’m crazy if they do.

God has given me lots of gifts.  I’m sure all of you would say the same.  When asked to list them people usually say God has given them: wonderful spouses, beautiful children, health, jobs, etc.  And I would be no different.  In fact, I believe everything I have is a gift from God.  But sometimes . . . every once in a while, He gives you something in such a way that stuns you.  It makes you think, “Wow, God.  I know you’re always here and all, but you just showed up right HERE and did that . . . for me.”  And it makes you warm and fuzzy, and it makes you realize He really is a Father to you – who likes to give you things just because He loves you.

Well, one day, God gave me this:

Copper Scrubby-Thing

Yep, one of those copper pot-scrubber-things.  And I treasure it.

I was in my early 20’s.  I was in a time in my life where I was really trying to draw closer to God, and learn more about Him.  After loosing my earthly father a few years earlier, and feeling that loss very keenly, I was trying to let God fill that void and really feel Him as my Heavenly Father.  And I was struggling with it.  I was also trying to be better about managing money.  I wasn’t bad at it – but I was in a phase where I was really trying to cut spending and impulse purchases.

Also, as you can read in my About Me, I love copper – pretty much anything made of it.  I think it’s just divine.  I’m not big into jewelry, or handbags, or very much of anything, for that matter, that a lot of women are into.  But anything copper catches my eye like a fishing lure to a bass.  And I have a nice little collection of things now, from kitchen gadgets, to art, to jewelry.  But at that time I was just beginning my collection.

So I was shopping at the grocery store.  And – I know you’ve seen them dangling along the sides of the cereal aisles – the little scrubbers were hanging in little individual packages, all bright in their coppery-goodness, and calling to me.  I had always admired them before, but never felt so strongly called to them as I did on this shopping trip.  I WANTED one.  And there was really no reason not to buy it.  I was not hurting for money at all, it was only a purchase of a couple dollars.  But as soon as I selected my coppery treasure and plunked it in my cart, I felt like I shouldn’t do it.  I needed to be disciplined, I thought.  It was the ultimate in “impulse purchases” – just the type of thing I was trying to avoid doing.  And so I put it back, congratulated myself on my proper choice, and didn’t give it another thought.

I bought my groceries, put them in the car, and drove home.  And as I came around the curve and approached my house I saw something in the road, something coppery looking, directly in front of my driveway. I shook my head in disbelief. Then I got out of the car, walked down the drive to the road, and just stood in the middle of the road while the cars drove around me and stared. It was a copper pot-scrubber-thingy – in the package nonetheless!!!! Say WHAAAAT?!?!?!

I really couldn’t believe it.  And this is where I expect people to totally think I’m crazy, or lying or both.  But I felt like God had plunked that thing down there just for me.  Like, wherever all that manna came from back in the day, there was a coppery pot-scrubber-thing up there too, and He let it fall there for me.  He knew I wanted one.  He saw me agonize over the decision.  He watched me put it back.  And He wanted me to have one.  It was actually a different brand, and nicer than the one I had just been looking at in the store.

What is amazing is that it’s not like He provided one for me two weeks later – this was immediately upon driving home from the store – less than half an hour later.  He didn’t give me an old one – like fell-off-the-back-of-the-garbage-truck old.  BRAND NEW.  In the package!  And He left no doubt in my mind that it was from Him – right in front of my freakin’ driveway!!

I picked it up like it was a newborn kitten and took it in the house.  And I set it on the counter and cried.  Yes . . . I cried . . . over a silly little object that’s purpose is to scrub scrambled eggs off my pans.

I have it still, obviously, and I’ve never used it.  It is a reminder to me that God is with me.  That He sees everything I do.  That He cares about all the little things in my life.  That – just like the good father that He is – He wants to give me nice gifts, even when they’re just little copper pot-scrubber things.

I’d love to hear about the little things in life that remind you of God’s presence and never-ending love.  I’d love to be inspired by your stories of times that God showed you He was there – in big or little ways.  Please comment below so we can revel in God’s grace together.